Is There a Chinese Love Guru in the House?

I recently had an email conversation with a dear friend who is going through some man-trouble (aren’t we all?). The following question came up, which I found to be an interesting one: “Are any of us, truly, perfectly whole?” It’s a question to bear in mind, no matter whether you are man or woman, or at what stage of your life you are in.

My answer to her was this: I can't tell you what my answer would be, mainly because it would not do you any good to know it. I could say yes, that it is possible, but how would that help you? Or I could tell you that no one could ever be whole, and how would that help you either? The truth is, I don't know. I think that's part of the journey - what we are supposed to find out for ourselves along the way. I will say this: that I believe that the possibility of being whole is there for everyone, and whether we reach it or not is completely up to the individual. As always, it depends on the person and the choices they make, who they are and what they take away from their experiences. It also helps if they know what they truly want.

Is this possibly-mythological state of being a prerequisite for entering into a relationship? So many have said, “he completes me,” or “he’s my other half.” But is this healthy? Or is it just that we reach another level of “wholeness” when we exist as significant others? I’ve begun to consider that, as long as you do not become solely dependent on being in a relationship to keep you in that status, I say what’s the harm in being overly romantic, so long as you’re not fooling yourself? It is, after all, just a turn of phrase. But then again, I’m a poet and I take words seriously. What are our interpretations of whole? Isn’t that what we first need to take into consideration? And, even after the interpretation, is there ever a viable answer to our question?