The Merry Old Land of Oz

There is a simple and reasonable explanation for my recent blogger silence: I didn't want to blow my cover.

For the past ten days, I have been trying to keep a secret from my mother. Since she sometimes reads this blog, I decided any and all blog posts should be put on hold until the reveal. Believe me, when a mother knows her daughter as well as my mother knows me, you understand why I cannot risk even the slightest slip of the tongue - or type.

My mother's 69th birthday is this Friday. Her sister in Australia invited her to the beach house to celebrate for two weeks. The big present? Me.

My mother's four sisters, spread all over the globe, joined in efforts to arrange this outstanding surprise. I was a little worried at first, thinking we might need smelling salts and the paramedics on speed-dial, just in case. Still, I couldn't wait to see the look on her face after being parted from each other for nearly ten months - the longest we've ever been without a visit.

However, in my efforts to book a flight out of the Red Tape Zone, I was thwarted time and time again. Oh, China. I thought we were at a cease-fire?

At first, there were no flights available that we could find, simply because we are smack in the middle of the Chinese Spring Festival. Basically, the entire country checks out from mid-January until the end of February.

Then, when we found a ticket, my name was too long to fit on the ticket and the reservation was canceled. The consequences of being raised Catholic.

Also, a useful fact: China isn't exactly simpático with many foreign credit cards.

But many endeavors later, I finally got my happy ending. And I was right. The stunned look was priceless and a camera was ready to capture the expression. For the occasion, one of my aunties produced a giant gold ribbon that I tied in a bow around my head. I was, in effect, a present, personified. Perfect.

So, here I sit, sunburnt on the beach, soaking in all the non-polluted goodness of Aussie-Land, and loving every hedonistic moment. Besides being reunited with my mother, the best part of it all is the view. Sure, the ocean is stunning, the champaign is bubbly, and the beaches are out of this world. But ladies, there is nothing like a hot Aussie surfer/jackaroo to get your blood pumping!

Heaven may seem disappointing after this place.